Violence is a misdirected tool against unarmed people

Violence happens all the time; too much even. To me violence seems to be a tool used to strike fear and to oppress. It has been used throughout time to do just that.

There are a lot of us dying out in the world at the hands of the people that are supposed to protect us. Whether it is fear or lack of training; whatever the reason it is happening. Black, Latino, White, we are all the same all that separates us is our experiences. Authority figures that are not properly trained or are not of a respectable class should not be on the street policing everyone else. They should not be allowed to join the forces that are supposed to protect everyone. Those are there should be removed privately; if they do not want to be removed then they should have a trial that shows how wrong they are. Removed from their post so that others may live. Life is too precious for those us trying to live correctly to be snatched from the earth at the hands of such a person.

Violence and Our World!

The violence happening in our world today is revolting. We get bombarded daily with personal and physical violence happening in areas that look like ours but are not ours. Our attitude is then upped and we have a hard time trying to grasp what happened. The loss of the family is great but we have also suffered that same loss because today we can experience it too.

Families have to share their pain with the world now. The concept is hard to cope with, we are shown these images and we then give a certain type of response whether positive or negative. Violence is the cord the world is playing right now and we are all ebbing and flowing to the beat of its music. The rights of all people are being violated today. There are deaths happening and there is nothing we can do about it. The policeman below talked a young man out of taking his own life. This was all over facebook, twitter, google+ and others. It is however outweighed by the negativity by all of the senseless deaths by anyone that kills without regard for human life.s064355227-300

1.) The police are scared
2.) There are not enough well trained police
3.) The people are scared of the police

When both sides are scared and they come in contact with one another the one with the most advantage will win. Horrible, horrible, horrible because many times the people with the most advantage and best trained are not even near the area where the conflict happens. When I was younger we knew the police in our neighborhood. They were always in our neighborhood not because it was a bad neighborhood but because they wanted to know us. There was a Jr. police force which we were on. Do I think this would help it couldn’t hurt could it? I don’t think that police who knew there victims would have victims. I think it would be very hard to kill someone you know. Police get out in the field as we have seen some of the more seasoned officers do and learn your surroundings, people, work environment.

Women Today…


wonderful parents and son in an autumn garden. yellow autumn leaWomen today have options my mom and hers didn’t have. The women of today can work and have a family, the so-called having it all mantra that so many women have coveted. Then why is it that so many women are so unhappy? The conflict within is what I believe causes the unhappiness of those few unhappy ladies. There isn’t a balance created for themselves while they are acquiring and learning to be all of who they are.
I watched my mom as I grew up and noticed that once we were all at an age where we could help take care of the others she went to work outside of the home. Before that she was all about us kids. So what then happens when a woman is not allowed that choice? What if she wants the husband, the kids, and the career; gets it all and doesn’t know how to manage it all. What then? Is she going to need therapy to be able to deal with all that she encounters or will she just naturally know how to cope with all that has been thrust upon her?
I now see my wife and she has the big three and has a struggle to juggle things or keep all of the balls in the air at the same time. What do you do? What is sacrificed to have it all for women? Life is its own predictor of certain things it makes you choose; you may see a buffet but something is going to be left on the plate if you pile it too high. How do you cope with it all too? There are lots of little things pulling and tugging at you guys daily and that is even before you get to any of the three that are so coveted. Yes I mean yourself you guys forget about yourselves and just bury into life and trying to live the dream the way society wants you to. Well I want to tell my wife and other women to live life where it fits to what makes you comfortable. Have the conversations with your spouse delegate as much as you can. I know that is a challenge because only you can do it most times.

It would be great to hear thoughts on this topic,


Till next post, this has been,040616_1823_WelcomingMa1.jpgPost

Son’s Navy Graduation

We went to the Great Lakes to see our son graduate naval boot camp. It was an emotional day for all of us. We got in to Chicago and seen my wife’s sister and husband and talked about things to do once we picked him up and was allowed leave. Only when we finally were able to pick him up he was so stressed out from trying to prove himself to us that he wasn’t enjoying the visit from us. All in all though I think we were able to let him know that we are very proud of him and that he should really loosen up and enjoy the experience. I mean its his new beginning; where he is coming out a brand new butterfly that just emerged from his (6)

We were so happy to see him in that group of sailors and of course after he finally did loosen up he had some experiences to share with us. I was great and we could definitely see a lot of growth in him. The Navy has a lot of structure and foundation for him to be able to utilize as he moves through the early stages of his career. We think he will thrive in that environment, he follows instruction very well. It has been great to see the transformation into the young man he has become. It will also be great to see the man he wants to become, he is right on track at this point. download (2)As many of us know though it isn’t always a straight line that we must travel to get to our final destination. There will be some mistakes and wrong turns and you must learn from them all even when we don’t want to or think we did.

Sunday was a much better day even though it was shortened because we had to get back to North Carolina. He was in great spirits when we left. It was hard for us having to leave him there knowing our only access to him was through his phone. It was really fun hanging out with him and other family in the Chicago area.

Cavaliers capture History for the city of Cleveland

The NBA finals were history making and a little of fairy tale. There were villains on both teams and darlings on both teams you had Draymond and his antics along with what Steph and the Warriors thought they were fighting the “Officials”. Tristan Thompson and Kyrie Irving did their jobs very well and at a high level too. It was the Warriors series to lose and lose they did, they made history all season long even in loss they made history. They were the first team ever in the history of the NBA to lose a finals series with a 3-1 lead on their opponent. The series itself was not that great though the way the game is played today is a little faster but more calls to get the offensive players loose to be able to score. Because that is what fans want to see is a high score, or so that’s what many of the spin-off shows sponsored by the league says anyway. The play was well a little more restrictive to me being a defensive minded player myself. That is why us older guys are not out there now. A lot of them are in a coaches’ role or some type of supporting role that gives the younger generation some toughness.

Hats go off to the Cavaliers for being able to pull something like this off. Coming from a 3-1 deficit against the team that won 73 games and only lost 9.

The Warriors though they have a tough summer to get through this year, to know that you had a team down 3-1 one and couldn’t finish them is really confidence drainer, even if you did win 73 games in the regular season. This was the time to show that you are the team to beat and rest on your regular season reputation. Everybody who has played basketball at any level knows that you have to take the wins no one gives them to you. They didn’t take what they wanted, Steph shot jump shots he has the same ball control as Kyrie but he didn’t use it. He could have gotten in the lane just as Kyrie did but he didn’t. When in the final series of the season all the injuries and everything go out the window. I know the organizations are worried about their stars but they also want that championship if their star can get it to them. The Warriors stars could have given their city another championship. I think they bailed on the hard work that it was going to take to get over the hump called the Cavaliers. It was almost apparent that as the Warriors got even the slightest lead in any of the games after the first two they were going to coast. I don’t think that was Coach Steve Kerr’s thoughts but the players other than Green yeah. Klay is too talented a player as well as Steph, the others in Igoudala, Barnes, Livingston, Barbosa all of these guys disappeared after the first two games. How can that be after the chemistry that was built all season long of playing together and getting other teams to play your way. They did push the tempo enough in games to get out in transition and make the Cavaliers chase them as they had made teams do all season long. This was not the team that everyone watched all season. I will not bail them out either this is their job to play at a high level for an entire season not just for the regular season. What a miserable end to a season that saw you guys make history.

Cleveland congratulations at making history LeBron made everyone believe that they had the magic ticket and they did against the behemoth machine that had been destroying every team that stepped in front of them all season long including themselves. The Warriors had a system but they bought into the Cavaliers system trying to play as they do but without the length. The Cavaliers capitalized on every mistake the Warriors made as they should have. I have to say as many others are probably saying this morning that I actually thought the Warriors were going to win the series. I really did but the Cavaliers proved they wanted it more than the Warriors did. LeBron and the Cavaliers knew all too well what the sting of losing felt like and they wanted no part of that again, like he said “This is finals whatever I have to do and however it has to be done, I don’t care” We won. You can’t say it better than that. Celebrate Cavaliers everyone will be chasing you next year. Every game in your arena will be like a playoff game it will feel great enjoy it guys.

Till next post, this has been,


Struggle and Strife is as much a part of life as breathing

So-Many-Struggle-With-FaithI have learned that the conversations and the difficulties that we all have in our lives is necessary and for our benefit. If we didn’t have them how could we ever become the man or woman that we were put here to be. Hope must be something that is in our hearts, that is our connection to our faith which then connects to God.

Inner conflict is the biggest struggle that a lot of us have. When you have to ask yourself questions about should I be here, is this one of the best situations I have put myself in. These are only a few of the questions we ask ourselves as we fight with what we perceive to be a sticky situation. As you get older you don’t have to ask yourself these questions, because you have had enough experiences that you can draw from to make the correct choices. I have to honestly say I have begun to trust GOD and beginning to let go.


Now when we turn from that path or we never nail down one true thing that we want to pin our hopes and dreams to we can’t ever see any benefits. The way we normally do things from childhood is like this example: Going to school – Doing this ritual teaches us a lot of things; while we are experiencing it we meet new friends other than close family, we learn a little about the world, a little about where we come from, etc…. Those that quit school don’t stop learning they just move into a different struggle. School prepares you with a foundation to build on. Without it we struggle to get a few of the basic meanings that we should already know. Everyone struggles and everyone has strife. It is how you choose to accept and fight for what you feel is needed in your life. The education analogy is very pointed. It shows the very rawest of materials that we all need to function in this world at a high level.quote-Pope-Paul-VI-all-life-demands-struggle-those-who-have-1-58120

I always tell my children that there is no easy way to the top the stairs. The route you take is how you learn on your way, if you skip a few steps it could come back to bite you. reason being you can’t reproduce how you got to where you are currently. It was handed to you; you didn’t have to struggle for it. You learn everything from struggling throughout life for however long we are allowed to be here on this earth. Strife is what happens when you don’t really get along with individuals that you come in contact with. This is always going to happen because each individual has their own struggle. I let them know that they must align themselves with people with struggles similar to theirs. This way they can constantly move forward without someone causing stoppages in their journeys. One cannot be had without the other.

The piece that I have had the biggest problem with is struggling to move on from certain relationships. Having been on different paths in my life there have been a couple of things and people who I had problems moving on from. When you have success with something even though you may not be very successful monetarily it is a success. Basketball was one where I had success not much monetarily as they have now but great friendships and knowledge transfers happened during that time. I learned more than I earned but it was a balance a huge balance that gave me a kind of peace for that time in life. That struggle passed kind of easily after I began to age because sports of any kind are for the young. Not something that I struggled to move from but a struggle to find that same balance in other area of life. tumblr_mk819isbVL1s9u3jeo1_500People however is an entirely different animal. Some of the questions I had surrounding people I have figured out through struggling and reading the bible and going to church that all who you meet and commune with cannot go on to your destination with you. Your groups will need to be trimmed to those who are about you and helping others follow the messages from the bible. Struggle is a journey one that I am beginning to appreciate more and more each day.

Without these two things we cannot ever see who we are meant be. Tests are what life is about, the people around you test you, your family tests you. Enjoy the struggle and try to live as Christ did.


Warriors Green Suspended

This is what is on my mind about the NBA Finals. KiKi Vandeweghe a player from an earlier playing era, has levied a punishment on a player for reacting to something that no player in any league even himself would have allowed to happen to themselves. The rules are the rules I get that; we must also look at the aggravated behavior of what caused the action as well.

LeBron James, Scottie Pippen and others have executed this move and had nothing happen to them throughout the history of the game. OK, so Draymond and LeBron are tangled center court, I am not sure if there was a pain-point in either of their shoulders during this all I know is Draymond went down. Now with this fall comes something so disrespectful to another player. LeBron steps over Draymond. When this is taking place Draymond acts accordingly. In the aftermath once all is said and done the criticism begins and not on the one who steps over the other person while mind you he is actually getting up from the floor itself. Patrick Ewing was still down. This guy was up on one knee about to stand. How is this OK?

LeBron says after everyone has seen what he did that he wasn’t trying to disrespect Draymond he was just trying to get back into the game. Yeah right, he knew what stepping over this guy would do totally. Kiki you did not do what correct for the play and you and everybody else know it. You made a company decision, that should have ended that night right after the play ended as it did that night. To me I don’t think the Warriors will fracture behind this but this is why it was done for TV ratings the more people watch the more money the NBA makes. I still think the Warriors win tonight. For the simple reason that they play basketball as a team. Not too much one-on-one play where one guy holds the ball for most of the shot clock and then passes out to an unsuspecting player on the same team and is expected to make or create a great shot. They move the ball around which causes Mitch-matches on the floor because of the chaos that the ball movement creates.

Cleveland fans I am sorry for your loss, my condolences. Just wanted to get that out of the way before tonight.

Till next post, this has been,

Warriors vs. Cavs

Warriors vs. Cavs – Game 1

First I fell asleep on the game but awoke to find that the Warriors won without the outstanding play of their two stars. The bench mob as they like to be described came in and did their jobs. Lebron was and always will be Lebron but Kyrie and Kevin have to find their places in the game on the defensive end to make this a good series.

The Cavs played great against eastern conference talent that couldn’t really match them. Now though they are on the NBA Finals stage where to win it all you have to beat the best in the west as well. Well the Cavalier’s haven’t played well in the west all year-long. The games they won were nail biters, sure those are the games that bring team chemistry upfront in the locker room, but there has to be a total buy in from all involved. The Cav’s as long as they were tearing up the eastern conference looked like the eastern version of the Warriors. Now facing them the actual Warriors they have backslid to their old ways partially. I would love to see the Larry O’Brien trophy on the east coast again; however the Warriors aren’t going to just give it to them.

Stephen and Klay are two of the best in the NBA, with a bench that is down right awesome when at home. Stephen is from my area and I like the kid. He has moved to the west coast and become quite the player for the western side of the NBA. I like how the teams play in the final series of the playoffs. It would be great if that same play was exhibited throughout the entire season. I know it is a lot for them to do. Especially with the rule changes.

I think this will be a great series though. May the best team win.

Tough Relationship Conversation


couple_in_bed_upsetConversations about your personal physical relationships are sometimes hard, I know that when I need to have a conversation of this nature I get really nervous. Yes, nervous; a conversation like this puts you in a vulnerable position it brings up a mountain of emotions that are tough to handle because of the unknown capabilities of the conversation that is to take place. There is a certain uneasiness that goes with these conversations. I think I know where my nerves come from, they come from a place where rejection exists. Even in marriage there is rejection. The rejection I speak of is the obligation of marriage to one another. I think it is what happens after we allow the relationship to go stale. Kids, aging parents and grandparents, personal advancements, etc.… All of these things can and will cause us to do just what we are obligated to do for our spouses. Marriage to me is not obligatory it is very deliberate meaning that we made a choice to love our spouses in front of God and our families. It’s painful I know and scary of what may happen if we continue to try to our spouse doesn’t reciprocate it. Obligation is like being on auto-pilot, you know what you are supposed to do but you don’t put your all into it; you just oblige your spouse because that is what you think you are supposed to do. What I can say is that anything that causes pain for another human is not Christ like. So getting angry and handling things for yourself and hurting another individual is not what Christ wants any of us to do. In some of my past blog posts I have spoken of conversation in the relationship. This still holds true in the strongest fashion; you see it is not necessarily anything biological that is need to sustain life but having a physical relationship with your spouse let both of you know that you are wanted by the other. If the physical relationship you have is not what you need then have a conversation about it. If no middle ground can be met, then maybe counseling needs to happen. Maybe the relationship needs to be resolved whatever the decision it “the conversation” needs to happen between the two of you. Speaking with friends, barbers, your crew will only mount confusion and skew those groups to your favor. physical

I can tell you this though not having that conversation and just cheating or sneaking around, not only hurts the spouse in the relationship with you; it hurts you as well. The reason is that you are lying to yourself if you think that handling the situation in this way is OK and that in a nutshell is poisonous to you. Marriage is sacred and if you ever want to know for yourself that everything has been done by you and your spouse you must see it through to ever exhaustible end. If the physical part of the relationship is not where you think it should be. You are feeling neglected, alone, unconnected let your spouse know. Things are not going to change overnight though in fact it will take a lot of time for any noticeable action to show up in the relationship. Keep talking and making requests not demands. You want conversations not situations where ultimatums are being blasted around to the other, that isn’t going to help either of you.

best_relationshipWe are only as strong as the bonds we make within our relationships. If there is no bond then there is no trust, if there is no trust then there can and will be no relationship. Hanging out with shallow people and just doing things that are un-fulfilling and unwarranted. These things will only prolong your agony which in turn makes you think that someone else is doing something to you personally. I am just spit bawling here possibly rambling too, but we have to have faith that things happen for a reason. Once we choose to believe we will be blessed abundantly, this does not mean that you become a door mat to someone though. Conversation is just the opposite it shines light into those dark corners and keeps them out and from being able to hide. Having the confidence to have these conversations is hard sometimes. The rejection is a component of fear, having a stale relationship is not good but having a conversation about it can possibly make it fresh again. I only speak what is on my heart at any given time, for those that are going through some of these situations ask for the strength to handle it because it will not be taken away. It is your cross to bear until it is time to lay it down. Conversations enable you the power to put something down. So don’t hold your tongue have those tough conversations, use them to keep those dark places out of your marriages and relationships.