Me, through my children’s eyes

I saw this post on MSN.com and had to repost it hear to my blog, my wife has the same thoughts. Wives, Moms, Sisters, etc. You guys have a high school picture of yourself in your head of what you looked like and want to be that. I say you are that already. You have been through that stage already. Enjoy your life as you are and if you can find the time to get close to what that picture in your head suggests then go for it.

Great article!!!

Arthur Poston Jr.

My kids snapped a pic of me on my phone and it changed how I see myself

Flipping through the pictures on my phone, I see it.

My first reaction is shock.

via Scary Mommy

Who took this hideous picture of me?!

Self-loathing and disgust swell up and threaten to bring me to tears.

Just as I am about to hit delete, my boy walks in the room.

“Do you know anything about this picture?” I ask him.

I turn the screen so he can see it. He smiles huge.

“I took that of you in Tahoe,” he says. “You looked so beautiful laying there. I couldn’t help it, mom.”

“You need to ask me before using my phone to take pictures,” I say.

“I know,” he says. “But mom, seriously, look how pretty you look?”

I look at the picture again and try to see what he sees.

My daughter walks over and takes a look.

“That could be a postcard mom,” she says smiling. “You’re so beautiful. I love it.”

I take a deep breath.

This is exactly what I needed.

My default mode is to see and focus on the flaws and imperfections. I’m starting to see a bit more.

I still see my dimply, fat thighs.

I also see a mom collapsed on the shore that just explored the lake for hours with her children.

I still see chubby arms.

I also see the arms of a mom that just helped her kids across the rocks and hot sand so their feet wouldn’t hurt.

I still see a fat woman wearing a black dress bathing suit to try to hide her weight issue.

I also see an adventurous mom that loves her children something fierce.

Like many women, I have struggled with my weight most of my life. It’s not something that will ever go away for me. I don’t have a naturally slim body. Never have.

Right now I’m the heaviest I’ve been in 10 years. Yet…

I have not let my weight stop me this time. I am wearing tank tops, sundresses and bathing suits in public. I’m running around playing with my kids this summer and I sometimes even feel attractive.

Yes. You heard me.

“I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. I feel pretty, and witty and bright.”

Well… not exactly. But something like that.

Is it because I’m getting older? Is it that I have more to worry about than just how I look? Or maybe it’s because my kids look at me with such adoring eyes.

Really, it doesn’t matter.

I don’t hate my body anymore.

That’s huge for me to admit and hard to even wrap my mind around.

I’m not giving up on exercising and getting healthy. Those are things I will continue to strive for because I want to be around awhile.

Right now though, I just want to love my body where it is. I want it to be OK to see myself the way my kids do.

Thank you, kids.

Bridgette White is a stay-at-home mother of two who lives in Sacramento with her husband and two guinea pigs. She is the author of BridgetteTales.com, a blog about depression, self-discovery and parenting. Bridgette worked at the Sacramento Bee for 7 years and was featured as part of the inaugural Sacramento cast of Listen To Your Mother.

Article 26 – Praise and Uplift for my Beautiful Wife

I am feeling sexually ok.

I know that you don’t want sex anymore. I am working through it and starting to become successful at it. I can’t allow a sexually shallow wife to limit what I am doing. You are fine I can’t and won’t approach you anymore for sex. If you want something from it will need to come from you. I am ok with abstaining for now.

You are a remarkable woman and I don’t know where you lost your groove but when ready I am here for you. I am going through enough without having to worry about that too.

I love you way more, still looking for that sparkle in your eye

(8)

Arthur

 

Article 25 – Praise and Uplift for my Beautiful Wife

I want to uplift you today baby for enjoying yourself this past weekend. It felt good to me to see you enjoy yourself for a time. You needed that as much as Kristy and I am happy that she had the party here at our home. That way you had the comfort of home and didn’t feel detached from your immediate family. It was great and I am happy that I was able to be a part of your happiness this past week.

Love you way more babe,

(8)

 

Upgrading the adsl modem firmware on Cisco 877W router

Upgrading the adsl modem firmware on Cisco 877W router

In order to ensure compatibility and stability with your ISPs equipment in the exchange, it is at times necessary to upgrade the adsl modem firmware on your Cisco router. Download the appropriate firmware for your router (in this case a Cisco 877W). It is essential you get the correct version so take care to make sure you have the correct one. Some older updates can be found here:

ftp://ftp.cisco.com/pub/access/800/

You will need a Cisco Smartnet subscription to get the latest firmware.

Once you have downloaded the firmware (in this case adsl_alc_20190_4.0.018.bin), you need to rename the file to adsl_alc_20190.bin

Telnet into your router and check the current firmware version by running the command:

show dsl interface

From the output of the command you can see under the ‘Operation FW’ section it shows the current firmware file and version, and also that under the ‘FW Source’ it shows the location as embedded.

Next we need to copy the new firmware file to the flash memory on the router using tftp. You can use the Cisco tftp server software to do this. or alternatively download Solarwinds free tftp server software.

Place the firmware file you renamed earlier into the tftp servers root directory and then issue the following command on your router:

copy tftp flash 

fill in the ip address for your tftp server and the source and destination filename adsl_alc_20190.bin

issue the reload command to restart your router:

reload

Once your router is back up telnet into it again and run the following command again to see the result:

show dsl interface

As you can see the ‘Operation FW’ now shows the new firmware version, and the ‘FW Source’ as external. If for any reason you have a problem with the updated firmware, you can easily roll back to the embedded version by deleting the adsl_alc_20190.bin from the routers flash memory.

This can be done by issuing the following command:

delete adsl_alc_20190.bin

When asked to confirm the file deletion just press ‘Enter’

Article 24 – Praise and uplift for my Beautiful Wife

I want to uplift you for being a sexy woman. You are beautiful and loving and quite lovely naked. You should be naked more. I love your shape, you see something else. I would love to undress you right now and have hot sweaty sex; but we may burn the bed down because of your heat flashes.

You know what I would love to see, hear, feel and know. I would love to know that you just couldn’t stand it without my sexy fat belly.

Love you baby,

(8)

 

Article 23 – Praise and Uplift for my Beautiful Wife

I want to uplift you today Karrie for being a wonderful companion. You make each day sweet to me even the days we have that are not so good.

I know you are struggling mentally to understand your body’s chemistry know that I am with you and will try to be as supportive as I can be. We have to get back on our schedule for exercising regularly; we can’t allow our schedules to dictate our needs.

Love you babe,
(8)

Article 21 – Praise and Uplift for my Beautiful Wife

I want to praise you today for being patient enough to deal with Isaiah this morning. Yesterday was very hard for me to deal with him after He broke our precious angel. That was a gift that meant something to us both. I sent him to his room for a good long while I think mainly to allow me to not physically punish him.

You heard what I said this morning you were emotional to a point but able to handle it with such grace. Thank you babe for showing me that display.

Love you way more

(8)