10 Things Moms of Teen Boys Must Know

10 Things Moms of Teen Boys Must Know
From the Scary Mom Blog
SCARY MOMMY » SURVIVING THE TEEN YEARS
by Melissa L. Fenton

Reposted by,
Arthur Poston Jr. – To www.focuseddevelopment.info

10-things-moms-of-teenage-boys-should-knowImage via Shutterstock

Ever wonder what it will be like when your little boys hit puberty? Think the teen years will be exciting, challenging, and fulfilling? Want someone who has “been there, done that” to tell you how it really is?

Well holy AXE spray, zit cream, and hairy legs, I. AM. THERE. I am treading water in the teen angst cesspool (also knows as their bedroom) and desperately gasping for sanity in male-adolescent-hormone-infested waters. Waters that run deep, wide, smart-mouthed, and scruffy-chinned. Where dirty boxer shorts, crumpled up and forgotten homework assignments, lost ear buds, sweaty socks, and junk food wrappers are forever afloat. These waters do not come with a lifeboat. (Honestly, I don’t need a lifeboat, I need a pressure washer and a bullhorn, but we will get to that in a sec.)

Don’t get me wrong: my teenagers are great kids. They do well in school, are witty, empathetic, amusing, and are actually growing into really cool adults. But there are minutes, days, sometimes weeks where I — in teen terms — like, TOTES. CAN’T. EVEN. wrap my mind around their behavior.

I wish someone had told me…..

1. Everything will smell. Their car. Their closet. Their bathroom. Their bedroom. The hallway that leads to their room. It will be a funky, sweaty, noxious, musty, foul, deodorant soap-covering-perspiration, “I am no longer a little boy” type of odor. No candle, plug-in, floral spray or wax melt comes close to touching it. So stop trying. When they move out, painting the room and replacing the carpet MAY help. I say MAY.

2. They will suddenly want to wash their own sheets. They will bounce down the stairs with all of their bedding wrapped up in a tiny ball, duck into the laundry room, and out of nowhere suddenly want to start the washing machine with no help. Don’t ask. Don’t help. Don’t acknowledge. Move on, mom. This doesn’t involve you. Just a boy and his dreams.
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3. There is no frustration greater than teaching a teenager how to drive. I’m almost done teaching my second son how to drive. I’ve got chewed-up cuticles, severe hair loss, and a scrip for reducing heart palpitations to prove it. No matter how cautious, careful, and smart of a driver they appear to be, and even with mom riding shotgun, dents will happen. So will things like, “Does yellow happen before or after green?” and, “Is 65 the fastest I can go?” Shoot. Me. Now.
4. When not sleeping, they are eating. Ever wake up at 3 a.m. to what sounds like raccoons in your kitchen digging through the garbage for food? Folks at Costco finally give you a parking spot up front? Then you get it. I live in “Never Enough Burritos” land. Someone please invent a pepperoni pizza patch that I can slap on their arms and that will offer 24-hour continuous nourishment.

5. When not eating, they are sleeping. When I had a house full of babies that woke everyday before sunrise, never, ever, EVER did I think that I would ever sleep in again. But teens? They SLEEP THE HELL IN!! Like until NOON. Comatose almost. Not gonna lie, it’s freakin’ awesome. Awesome until they have to wake up at dawn, like, say, for school. Then you are totally screwed. Invest in a bullhorn and pray for Saturdays.

6. They will take risks. Big ones. Mind-numbing ones. Risks that your shy, overly cautious, hesitant little boy would never take. (Personally, I think the part of the brain that kept him wary and watchful is now controlled by images of boobies and butts, but who knows.) Basically, boy brains are fearless, reckless, and have zero sense of consequences. If you’ve ever uttered the words, “Not my kid,” take it back. Take it back right effing NOW. Trust me.

7. They think they know everything. Yes, that cliché is true, and they will actually say this to your face. I literally recorded mine saying it to me. Even he laughed. This brazen way of thinking must somehow be a survival mechanism. Perhaps if they had an authentic grasp of adulthood and what real life will throw at them someday, they wouldn’t even want to reach 18. Let’s just allow them to keep thinking they know everything. Why ruin the party?

8. They will not want to hug much anymore. Like ever. But keep trying. You will become the physical form of kryptonite, and when they see you with your arms outstretched, they may run away in horror. Keep trying anyway. Because out of the blue one day, they will toss their arm around your shoulder and give a squeeze, a grin, and say “I love you mom.” (It may only occur when your trunk is full of groceries but hey, take what you can get.) They may seem aloof and un-wanting of your affection, but don’t believe it. They want it. Hug when and if you can.

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9. Showers. All day. Every day. Go ahead and buy the low-flow shower head on their 13th birthday, as it will save you about $500 a year. Kids you previously had to beg, bribe, and literally chase down and throw into the shower now spend a quarter of their entire day in there. And yet, still #1. Washing diligently? Probably not, but don’t be that mom who knocks and cracks an embarrassing joke. Just don’t.
10. You thought your newborn grew overnight? You won’t believe these spurts. The mere fact that these boys I now have to crane my neck and look UP to used to fit in the football hold under my arm is mind-boggling. But it happens. And it does so at warp speed. They will go to bed one night with the voice of a Vienna Choir boy and walk out the next morning Pavarotti. Pants that one day you have to roll up will be capris the next. We have skipped three whole shoe sizes at one time. Must have something to do with #4. In the blink of an eye you will go from holding the soft padded hands of a little boy to holding a hand that feels like your husband’s. And the one thing you really need to know? Watching your boys turn into men is pretty darn cool.Sent from my Sprint Samsung Galaxy® Note 4.

Family Time

Family time is a great thing if you and your spouse can prepare yourselves for it. Having a game night or a bicycle ride is great when done together. We try often to have time together with our children. Thing is how much family time is required? Is it an unlimited requirement where it should be an everyday event or what. Families that have this down let the rest of us know your secret.

Till next post this has been,

Post

Sent from my Sprint Samsung Galaxy® Note 4.

In a relationship, married or not… YOU SHOULD READ THIS!

In a relationship, married or not… YOU SHOULD READ THIS!

MARRIAGE

Reposted to this site – April 29, 2015 at 2:13pm

 

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.– At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

Share

Backgrounds a Problem….

Wandering through this life with a past or should I say a criminal past is very different today than it was in the earlier days. I have watched the older TV shows and watched how all they had to do was change their ways. Talked with some older gentlemen that had some not so good things in their past. They spoke of how things were before everything change to being tracked by computers. How people went from your actions not what a machine or a piece of paper says. The world gave you a chance then. Now not so much, if you are not a match to some profile or things that can be assist you in growing yourself then you are in trouble.

example – If you rob trains before, you now no longer rob trains move to another area and start fresh.

Today in our computer age things follow you around. I mean things happened twenty or so years ago are still bothering you for employment or can be brought up very easily. Computers are great they really are, it is how companies use them to stay abreast of a person’s past. I agree that there should be a record but if the offense doesn’t fit what the person is looking for then it should not show up. I don’t know there are a lot of ways to spin something like this. Some would say that it thins out the competition. Still others would say that if it was something in your past that would keep you out of work then you should have been more careful. To those people I would say how can you know as a high school kid how important writing something as small as a $20 dollar bad check will bother you later. Should you have to restructure your life for the mistakes that you have in your past?

Marriage and Relationships

What are the functions that should be performed in a marriage? Is the first sex?

There is the following –

1.) Love
2.) Honor
3.) Cherish
4.) Obey

Those are part of the the vows that are spoken from the minister as you and your bride stand there in front of family and friends proclaiming your lives to one another. Do we really listen as they are spoken? In reality I know I was nervous as all get out. I read them the other day in the bible text and it is quite eye opening. If we all were to follow these words that are spoken would we be more than inclined to be happy? Would your partner?

I have been inclined to believe that a lot of us are getting married and not adhering to the policies that are spoken and agreed to within the whole marriage party. Marriage has for some become a spectacle, these are Gods words that are being prepared and spoken by one of his boys. We have to listen and admit those words to our hearts if not we will continue to have the high divorce rate possible.

What are your thoughts?

Check back for my next installment.

Arthur Poston Jr.

Hear: What Keeps Countries Poor?

Repost

January 12, 2015 11:53AM

Arthur Poston Jr.

July 10, 2009 4:57 PM ET

Laura Conaway

As of December 2008, Zimbabwe owed $4.69 billion to international creditors.



20:22 29:09

On today’s Planet Money:

The planet’s rich nations met this week to discuss, among other issues, ways to help the planet’s poor nations.

But those poor (and developing) nations have their own group. It’s called the anti-G20, in a nod to the G20 collection of industrialized states. The anti-G20 met at the U.N. last month, where Nobel Laureate Joseph Stiglitz and Martin Khor explained what keeps impoverished countries down. Answer: Their debt to the IMF and wealthier nations.

We also take a second look at the surprisingly complex financial lives of the poor, with a focus on burial societies and very alternative banks.

Bonus: A mildly sunny indicator.

Download the podcast; or subscribe. Intro music: Terry Lynn’s “IMF.” Find us: Twitter/ Facebook/ Flickr.

Julie writes:

I have a number for you! 10,623.

That’s how much I earned last quarter on one of my retirement plans, after having posted losses, for what, a year or more?

Of course it’s still worth less than when I opened it in early 2001 (just in time to see it take a big fall after 9/11… sigh) but this gain has to mean something!

For what it’s worth, she’s the second person this week to tell me they opened an investment statement and got good news.

Everyday Society Technology and our youth

Have you noticed that today instead of a child being outside riding their bicycle, they are now planted in front of the TV, game system, cell phone in hand. I think most of it comes from our era though when parents wanted us inside but didn’t have anything to entertain us with. In our day there were such media headlines as the “Atlanta Child Murders” where a guy was abducting children and killing them for no apparent reason that I remember. This headline was small at first with most of the disappearances being thought of as the kids being drug dealers and the like with the deals going bad. It wasn’t until the 4th or 5th victim was killed that the murders become a high priority and hit the NEWS media like wild fire, again though our parents had no way of entertaining us so we remained social by being outside. Today kids have so many electronic outlets that now they struggle to interact in real-life situations. The fear our parents had for us manifest itself onto us for our kids. We are hurting ours though because without a strong balance of healthy outside play mixed with some electronic stimulation they are unfavorably unbalanced. We can still win though parents it will be a little harder because we ourselves have to unplug from the digital world and pay attention to our youth. I am still a little bit of a dinosaur though. I mean if I can get mine outside to ride their bike with me or play basketball I am there. It is just hard though to pull them out of the house when we have made the virtual world a reality for them by purchasing the game systems, cell phones and computers.

The era that I grew up in and those that came before me is gone, so we as the new generation have to create some boundaries for our children that are safe and allow them time to still enjoy the devices that we have given them. Remember balance is the key we have to give them some sort of rules of engagement when interacting with the world and their virtual worlds. It seems funny we only had to deal with the right now as it stood. Our kids have to deal with the right now, the was, and the going to be. Wheeew that is something to have to deal with at such very young ages. We are going to have to help them navigate through what we have aided them to create. I think that we as a society can overcome this but it will take a lot of the adults hard work and time to better this situation.

Till next post I am

Post

 

Article 35 – Praise and Uplift for my Beautiful Wife

Hey babe I am going to uplift you today for something that you never even realized. Support – you are supporting your sister by hanging out with her and keeping you guys bond strong.  You both need this time together more than you know.

I know that I called you out on our personal relationship and I still am waiting to see the changes. We are married to one another and I have waited this long to see the changes 2 weeks isn’t going to kill us.You have to know how important it is that you spend that time with her she comes to hang out with you. None of mine do that; keep that bond strong and special. I am always going to be here for you. Long as Jesus allows I am here. Your strength is great and I love you so much.

Your Honey,

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