The Friend Everyone Longs For


The Friend Everyone Longs For

We all have a mental picture of the kind of friends we want to have in our lives. We want friends who will be supportive. Who will stick with us when life is tough. Who will encourage us and not tear us down. Who will not judge us. But today we’re going to flip this around. We are going to consider how we can become the kind of friend for others that we want to have.

Life always begins with becoming rather than finding. Dating is not about finding the right person for your life. Marriage is not about finding the perfect man or woman. No, it’s about becoming the person God wants you to be. In this way, whether you do date and get married… or you don’t… you still win, because you are becoming the person that God wants you to be.

So, with this in mind, we need to look at what it takes to be the kind of friend we want to have in our lives. First, we need to be a friend who is sincere and not phony. A friend with no hidden agendas. A friend who isn’t hypocritical or two-faced. A friend who doesn’t just tell others what they want to hear but speaks the truth.

Second, we need to be a friend who extinguishes evil and celebrates good. We do this by de-escalting conflict insteading of fanning the flames of conflict. We speak the truth as we extend mercy and forgiveness, just like Jesus did for us. While we do not turn a blind eye to the truth, we assume the best of people and are ready to humbly work to restore relationships without thought of personal gain.

Third, we need to be a friend who is open-handed with our resources. We share and actively meet needs.

Fourth, we need to be a friend who rises above the situation. We don’t have to show up to every fight in which we are invited to participate. We can choose to politely withdraw from conflict. To do the unexpected by blessing those who curse us. There is freedom in not having to get even. As we follow God’s purpose and leave it to him to deal with those who curse us, we honor the size of our God and trust he will take care of everything in the very best way.

Fifth, we need to be a friend who moves freely among all people. We all want the friend who says, “I can float with the up-and-ups and the down-and-outs. I can float with the high-and-mighty and be just as happy with those in lower states.” A true friend is there in all circumstances, whether we are at the top or the bottom. The gospel doesn’t treat people differently, and neither should we.

Sixth, we need to be a friend who is a peacemaker. We need to recognize that while we don’t have the power to change others, we can change ourselves. We may not be able to have peace with another person in our lives, but we can have peace toward that person. And if we are at peace with that person, then we are reflecting the gospel. We are living free.

So, today try to be the friend you want to have. By doing so, you will find friends who will recognize the power of the gospel in your life and be drawn closer to God.


How would you describe the bulk of the friendships that you have had? What do you look for in a friend?

What is the difference between finding a friend and being a friend? What do you find is the most challenging part about being a friend?

If God could do one thing in your life to empower you to “live at peace with everyone,” what would you want it to be?

Becoming Someone vs. Finding Somebody

This was a strong devotional message that I read the other day and thought I would share it with the people that may actually read it.
Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Becoming Someone vs. Finding Somebody

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus taught a kingdom message about what it means to live in relationship. Jesus, after describing God’s care for the smallest parts of his creation—the birds of the air and the flowers in the field—poses this question: “Are you not much more valuable than they?” Jesus says that God is going to provide for us more abundantly than he provides each day for them. We don’t have to be anxious for anything.

Unfortunately, anxiety tends to be a huge part of our lives. We worry about what job we will have. What house we will have. How others will perceive us. This anxiety carries into our relationships. We worry about meeting that special person. The wedding we will have. The children we have to raise. But Jesus says don’t worry about tomorrow, for you have a Father who promises if you will make seeking him a priority, he will make providing for you a priority.

God knows that what you need most is a Maker, not a mate. When you’re focused on the Maker, you won’t be distracted by the cares of this world. When you’re working on falling in love with your Maker, you become the person someone else wants in his or her life.

You can’t control the people who come into your life and how they respond to you, but you can control how you invest in becoming the person God wants you to be. You can burn a lot of energy seeking that right person and miss what you need to work on in yourself.

When you submit yourself to God to be molded, he will move you toward the people he wants you to meet. You don’t have to be anxious about being in the right place at the right time or fear who will miss out. If you commit to submitting to the process of becoming, God will be responsible for the process of bringing. So, if you want to get close to somebody, the answer is to move toward Jesus.

The enemy will try to get you to stress about your relationships and whether you will meet that special person. He knows if he can get you to worry about the future, it robs the power of what God wants to do in you today. The power you need is not in what God has done in the past, though you should certainly celebrate that. It is not in what you hope God will do in the future, though you can have confidence in that. The true power is what God, through Christ, wants you to become in the here and now.

There’s a whole world of people who think their happiness depends on their ability to get what they think they need right now. But true happiness is rooted in a Father who sees what we need and is able to provide into our lives at just the proper time. We have the same needs as everyone else on planet Earth. Food. Clothes. Shelter. We all need the same stuff—we just believe the solution is in bringing those things to God and trusting that he will provide.


How easy or difficult is it for you to take Jesus’ words at face value and not worry about the future? What do you tend to worry about the most?

What do you find yourself worrying about more: the past or the future? How does this worry affect your relationship with Jesus?

What does it mean to shift your priority from finding somebody to becoming someone? Where do you need God to shape, sculpt, and form you?

Enduring Love Today

images-14How many of us can say that we have an enduring love for anything? I mean sure we like to think we have enduring love for our parents and children that we have because we come from them and they from us. How do we fair in a relationship where our faith comes into to play. Marriage, faith in GOD, friendships, or just plain relationships all need the trust of enduring love if we can muster it. It is not something that comes to us easily. We have to get rid of our ego’s and the shame that has happened in the past that causes us not to be able to see in others what God sees in us. When we are able to do this we can move forward in life with the strength that was meant for us.

I have been seeking this mindset for sometime now and I finally feel that I am beginning to see what we should in each other. It is a fragile state though, we as humans here on earth are vulnerable to every form of doubt imaginable. For me to get to this point in myself I have joined a great church and learning from the life groups available through the church itself. Earlier I didn’t put much faith in church and trying to seek a glimpse of the face of Christ. I now see that there is power in prayer and that we all can make changes in the world by using this powerful tool that is available to us. With all that is going on in the world today we need it in the worst ways.psalm-145

Family and friends that knew me previously will probably think that I am on a Jesus kick now. This couldn’t be farther from the truth, I haven’t gone that way in the slightest. I do faith in Christ and that he is alive in us though. I don’t push my beliefs on anyone that isn’t searching for Christ. I am ready and willing to speak his existence and truth when asked about my personal walk. His Grace is all we need when we are weak, it works best when we are at our weakest.

2nd Corinthians (12:9); Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

I will continue to work on this one because I am still understanding it myself. All relationships will someday cause a strain on the love we have for those in our lives. We may think it is the enduring love that s being called into question when is probably our trust. The two kind of go hand in hand. Our minds will call into question things that have hurt us in the past. This will cause mistrust in those because things may be lining up as they did with a past situation. It will be hard to not listen to those thoughts and suggestions from our conscience’s. We do have to believe that God hasn’t brought us through all that he has only to just leave us cold. He is always with us we just have to trust it.


Bold Move Men!






Reposted from a christian email I received.


What’s the Bold Move?

The Lord is on my side; I will not fear—Psalm 118:6

“What’s the bold move?” It’s a question that should be asked often, in one form or another, when men gather in Christian community. It’s a question that challenges us to press our intellectual understanding of the truth of our King, Jesus Christ, into clear, practical action. It dares us to form Gospel words into living, breathing reality.

“What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? . . . Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works” (James 2:14, 18).

When we men move boldly in faith it demonstrates—with our actions, with our lives—that we do indeed trust Jesus. It confirms that we’ll actually live our lives like we trust him. Maybe it’s finally deciding to draw clear work/home boundaries, despite ambition or difficulty; maybe it’s confessing some sin, despite embarrassment or awkwardness; maybe it’s giving money or time, despite greed or inconvenience; maybe it’s sharing our faith, despite discomfort or fear; or maybe it’s something else entirely. For each of us, there comes a time when we just must take action, must take risk. There comes a time when our faith mandates that action and risk are the only real options. And that’s when things begin to happen—big, breathtaking things—not because we seek them out necessarily, but because they’re the byproduct of lives that reflect faith.
Okay, so what do we do?

How might you live out your faith with a bold move? Choose something simple, near-term (i.e., this week), and achievable. If you’re in community with other men (and you should be), formulate your bold moves together, customized to each individual and circumstance. Then, keep one another accountable for executing them. This is one way communities of men must work.

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Support, Empathy and Truth

Following the SET Formula

I have been reading about the SET formula developed by Jerold Kreisman, M.D. and I’ve found it genius ever since! It’s a great road-map to follow in a time of conflict, especially when the other person is opening up about their feelings. It stands for: Support, Empathy, and Truth.

When going into a conflict, it’s helpful to follow this easy model. Start with support by letting the person know you care about them and desire to be there for them. Start with something like, “I care about you and our friendship deeply.” This will let the other person know that you genuinely want to hear their side of the story and relate to how they’re feeling. This will go a long way in conflict resolution!

Once they know you support them it’s time to empathize. This means expressing to them you understand their feelings and what they might be going through, “It must be hard to.” You might not be able to know exactly what they are going through but perhaps you can relate to the emotion.

It’s important to clarify that validating feelings does not mean that you agree with them, only that you recognize that he or she is feeling them. The supportive communication method does not mean that you are letting the person off the hook; instead you are focusing on honest communication and ensuring that you are being heard, not just reacting to and defending against what is being said.

If they are feeling betrayed, perhaps there is a time in your life you felt that same way. If they feel misunderstood, maybe you can recall a time when you did as well. Find that shared emotion and tap into it; let that person know you both can relate and speak to where they’re at.

Only when you have let the other person know you support and empathize with them can you then share truth. Sharing truth means sharing a reality with them if you have a certain concern. They might not take your advice or follow through, but chances are they will receive what you have to say to them much better if they first feel like you care about them above all.

Following the SET formula helps to take the focus off of yourself and instead put yourself in the other person’s shoes. It opens their heart to conflict resolution and leads to a better understanding between the two of you.

reposted from the You Version Bible

I am finding the best way to learn is from those who have already found some success from the book that has been here before all of us.


Don’t Be Afraid


I would say one of the main reasons I avoid conflict is because I’m afraid of how the other person might respond. I get nervous they might be offended, or be hurt, or leave me. I’ve been so afraid of anything that resembled an argument or disagreement that I’ve shut down and avoided the conflict altogether.web1874729_ml

Maybe you relate and as a result, shy away from saying anything. Perhaps you end up living with the hurt or bottling it up, only to explode at another time. You can’t allow the fear of how another will react rob you of conflict resolution, and ultimately, peace.

Fear in this situation should be an indicator to yourself that conflict is not being handled properly. If this is you, today is the day you are being called to step out of that fear!

It is no coincidence you are reading this today and God has something He wants to do in your life in this specific area.

Will you let Him?

God did not give you a spirit of fear, but one of love, and this is a perfect reminder of how we should respond to any conflict. Go into it with love for the other person and God will honor you for that obedience. we all have these types of issues in our lives and some of us handle them better than others. I am working to not be one of those that are not willing to do the work on any conflict that I have. You shouldn’t be afraid to do the same. Don’t allow the fear to bottle you up to where you are shut down. Listen and hear first what your heart says then move on from there if possible.Conflict-Zones-600x250


Reposted from Navigating Conflict – You Version Bible



The thought of forgiveness is easy, actually reading about how to perform the actual act in the Bible and following it is another thing. I don’t think my interpretation quite matches that in the good book. I would love to say that I truly have forgiven everyone that has wronged or crossed me but I can’t honestly say that. I am working toward that goal though.

Forgive-picture-quote-free-downloadIt is not so much the forgiving part as it is the remembering and getting angry again. I am not sure if that is actually forgiveness. The lord is working with me on that one.

How are you doing with the forgiveness portion of your life?


Time heals all pain if allowed. That is what we are told…..

There is enough pain in this world without sharing our deepest stories. no-death-no-mourning-no-crying-no-painIt is very awful to see such horrible imagery. In the future I think doing so will desensitize us against it in the end. Showing the imagery is great for the ones that can actually help with the issue. Showing the imagery to everyone just because is almost pointless. Everyone who sees it doesn’t feel empathy for what happened. Most of our world has a major imagery distortion that has been caused by video games, and violent movies.

Mourn with those who can help with your pain, leave those who cannot help until you are strong enough to return to the world and shine as your were intended to.

The people who have lost loved ones through senseless violence deserve to be respected and not mocked. Different groups use these mother’s, father’s, and families pain as a platform to boost their own personal images and agendas. Allow the families time; time to grieve, time to regain their strength to face the world again. These things need to happen before their lives are opened up to the world because we are fed up with what is happening.

There is pain that happens everyday, problem is we inflict most of it on each other everyday.

Violence is a misdirected tool against unarmed people

Violence happens all the time; too much even. To me violence seems to be a tool used to strike fear and to oppress. It has been used throughout time to do just that.

There are a lot of us dying out in the world at the hands of the people that are supposed to protect us. Whether it is fear or lack of training; whatever the reason it is happening. Black, Latino, White, we are all the same all that separates us is our experiences. Authority figures that are not properly trained or are not of a respectable class should not be on the street policing everyone else. They should not be allowed to join the forces that are supposed to protect everyone. Those are there should be removed privately; if they do not want to be removed then they should have a trial that shows how wrong they are. Removed from their post so that others may live. Life is too precious for those us trying to live correctly to be snatched from the earth at the hands of such a person.