Relationship Conversations

Conversations in relationships are tough. In a loving and binding relationship where there are passions and different attitudes. Things are said; at different pitches and tones. It is up to the two in the conversation to get what they need from it. The conversation is the main part of the relationship.

There are a lot of people and probably couples that could benefit from easing down on the attitude and tone. I was trying to have what I thought was a simple conversation with my wife the other day.

During our talk I had gotten so passionate about it my voice was rising in pitch and I was animated while trying to describe things to her about my decision to continue on with more education. She told me that she didn’t even know what she would go back for. If she was to go back. She let me know that it felt to her like I was trying to force her to do something she wasn’t even sure she wanted to pursue. I didn’t feel like that I was doing that. You know what she said to alert me of it. She told me my tone and body language made her feel like I was upset that she didn’t want to get her master’s degree. After she let me know that; it gave me the necessary attitude adjustment to be that comfortable space that she could engage in the conversation again.

I don’t think I would have been able to be talked down that easy in the past. Probably would have blown up even more. When you care about the other person though you will make those adjustments in your life and your character to make them feel loved and comfortable.

If I described you in some of your conversations . Whether you are the aggressor or on the receiving end don’t be afraid to speak up. If the environment isn’t one where you can speak up, then you know you shouldn’t be there in the first place. Simple trick for simple conversations.

Till next post this had been,


In a relationship, married or not… YOU SHOULD READ THIS!

In a relationship, married or not… YOU SHOULD READ THIS!


Reposted to this site – April 29, 2015 at 2:13pm


When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.– At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.


Marriage and Relationships

What are the functions that should be performed in a marriage? Is the first sex?

There is the following –

1.) Love
2.) Honor
3.) Cherish
4.) Obey

Those are part of the the vows that are spoken from the minister as you and your bride stand there in front of family and friends proclaiming your lives to one another. Do we really listen as they are spoken? In reality I know I was nervous as all get out. I read them the other day in the bible text and it is quite eye opening. If we all were to follow these words that are spoken would we be more than inclined to be happy? Would your partner?

I have been inclined to believe that a lot of us are getting married and not adhering to the policies that are spoken and agreed to within the whole marriage party. Marriage has for some become a spectacle, these are Gods words that are being prepared and spoken by one of his boys. We have to listen and admit those words to our hearts if not we will continue to have the high divorce rate possible.

What are your thoughts?

Check back for my next installment.

Arthur Poston Jr.

Article 35 – Praise and Uplift for my Beautiful Wife

Hey babe I am going to uplift you today for something that you never even realized. Support – you are supporting your sister by hanging out with her and keeping you guys bond strong.  You both need this time together more than you know.

I know that I called you out on our personal relationship and I still am waiting to see the changes. We are married to one another and I have waited this long to see the changes 2 weeks isn’t going to kill us.You have to know how important it is that you spend that time with her she comes to hang out with you. None of mine do that; keep that bond strong and special. I am always going to be here for you. Long as Jesus allows I am here. Your strength is great and I love you so much.

Your Honey,


Article 31 – Praise and Uplift for my Beautiful Wife

Happy Birthday Baby –

Today my best friend has turned 38 years young. You as beautiful as the day I met you. You still have that glow that lights the way to my day and keeps me smiling for as long as we have known each.

Keep your personal stuff up it will benefit you later as the boys grow-up and we get older. I am very impressed with how you moved into this new phase of your life so quietly. Well not quietly but willingly and trying to carve out some time for you and your health. If you hadn’t done it nobody else could. this will help to move you through life better having other interest that just us. We are so happy be your focus but you should have more than just us. Keep moving yourself up the list to 1st so than when you are giving us priority whether it be the family or the boys or me. You don’t feel drained because you haven’t had time to clear your head and do something you really wanted to do for you.

Note * Manicure and Pedicure

You need you more than you can ever know and I know you so I know you need you. Have a great Birthday babe.

Stay Beautiful and Sexy

Love you,


Article 30 – Praise and Uplift for my Beautiful Wife

Babe I want to lift you up today on you taking your work trip.

We will be here when you get home always at least until they grow-up and leave to create their own lives. I however will be here until the lord takes me away from you. You need not feel guilty about going and getting some time for yourself. I was happy to hear your voice this morning. You sounded so relaxed and calm, I am happy that you were able to take that time.



Love you so much,


Article 23 – Praise and Uplift for my Beautiful Wife

I want to uplift you today Karrie for being a wonderful companion. You make each day sweet to me even the days we have that are not so good.

I know you are struggling mentally to understand your body’s chemistry know that I am with you and will try to be as supportive as I can be. We have to get back on our schedule for exercising regularly; we can’t allow our schedules to dictate our needs.

Love you babe,

Article 22 – Praise and Uplift for Beautiful Wife

I want uplift you baby for keeping me level and supporting me in what I encounter on a daily basis. If it negative you don’t hesitate to let me know and steer me away from it. After our Lord and savior it is you that help keep my sanity and strength.

I love you so much,